The Breed from Outer Space

For some odd reason, people think Chihuahuas are dogs, and are native to earth. Yeah Right!Anyone who could think those hairless, bugeyed things are native to this planet, much less dogs, deserves to be turned into one. (Here’s a tip. that insult works quite well, as everyone who thinks normally and knows chihuahuas are the ugliest things to blight the planet will get the point, and the deluded, brainwashed folks who believe the opposite won’t be offended.) Chihuahuas came from Neptune, Venus, Pluto, or Plaxarisis’Fulgh. Or all of the above.Chihuahuas are very ugly. They are like, demon laboratory rats with all their hair burned off in an offering to the Methylhydroxidine Manufacturers. I mean, even other weird little dogs like Shih Tzus (go wash your mouth, young man,) Pappilons, and Pekinese (Pekineseses, Pekinuses, Pekinii,) have hair, however moplike it may be. But Chihuahuas do not even make this precept of mammality. And yet people even ignore the actual cute animals like baby polar bears, gorillas, and the infant rattlesnake to cuddle with these much more dangerous extra-terrestrials. They even dress ’em up and treat ’em better than their own kids!The first step to eradicating these evil aliens is to get national coverage of the invasion. Tabloids across the nation will be sure to rally to the headline of “CUTE DOGS PROVEN SPACE ALIENS!!!”Once we amass our devoted legions of four people, we will cleanse the world, or at least the local neighborhood of these vile creatures, for as long as their owners don’t beat us to a pulp. 

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