WTF? (What the festschrift?)

Swearing. Swearing is rude, vile, and generally stupid. What we should do instead is show people how intelligent we are and not swear. Or, take this alternative. Swearing could be an educational endeavor. Instead of making everyone think, ‘what a jerk’, they could think, ‘Wow, listen to that well informed and well educated individual’! We could make people learn things! Imagine, for an instance, this scenario:
You’re hammering nails, and your kid is watching. You smash your thumb. Now what? Do you break out with a quick @%$$? or maybe a &*@%? Do you dare, with little Susie-kins watching your every move? Not to fear now! Try these handy new “Non-expletives” ™
“Sodium Chloride!”
“Megaptera novaeangliae!”
or “Achondroplasia!”
See? Lil’ Junior could learn something useful from your profanity! Maybe your cussing would inspire people to become become Chemists, Biologists, or Geneticists! Help the world today by changing “#&%@” into “Borygmi”!
The other solution, for when you’re seeking to influence someone and and a stern “Floccinaucinihilipilification!” won’t cut it, use a made-up word! Who could fail to fall back beneath a vehement “Grevakkab!”? And who could possibly censor or be offended by it?
In conclusion, this brings me to the motto of the “Use Better Cuss Words To Educate Your Child, Instead Of Degrading Him Or Her, And Using Artificial Swears To Avoid Offending People” Organization (U.B.C.W.T.E.Y.C.I.O.D.H.O.H.A.U.A.S.T.A.O.P. or, Our Acronym is too long, so just don’t curse): “Help make the world a better place; for the children. Don’t Curse.”


One Response to “WTF? (What the festschrift?)”

  1. Randy Tracy Says:

    Those are very impressive words that I have not heretofore seen. I agree that using them is much more educated and refined than using vulgarity. Personally, I like the word – Grossraumlangstreckverkehrsflugzeug. Literally, it means “large capacity long distance passenger flying machine.” Not so literally it means “jumbo jet.” Also, if someone makes you mad, you can tell them, “Ich habe eine Atomgetriebene Flugzeugträger!” and they will most likely leave you alone. (I have a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier!”

    Also, there is the realm of medical terminology to delve into, proffering such gems as “cholecystolithiasis” (gallstones) and “Whipple pancreaticoduodenectomy.” And who could forget the lovely “uvulopalatopharyngoplasty?”

    I read your other posts and they are very thought provoking.

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